'I have done that', says my memory. 'I cannot have done that!', says my pride, and remains adamant. At last, memory yields. ~ Nietzsche
When I was in 8th grade, I teased a girl relentlessly for not being able to make a basket during gym class. She was always dribbling the ball off her feet and couldn't put the ball in the hoop if her life depended on it. The class knew I would have something to say as soon as it was her turn to shoot and braced themselves for the hilarious 'venom' I would spew the second the ball left her hands. Two days ago I played a pick-up game of basketball. After 6+ surgeries on both knees, it was very apparent I had no business being out there. I couldn't run, I couldn't dribble, I couldn't shoot, and I definitely couldn't make a basket. The guys on the sidelines had a field day with my comedy show! It wasn't enough that I was trying as hard as I could. To them, I was a clown in street clothes hanging on to hoop dreams I should have abandoned long ago. My memory takes me back to 8th grade when I was the one doing the teasing. Over time I have matured but my pride still won't allow me to believe that I was really as bad as the guys at the gym over the weekend. Alas, I convince myself that they were worse and should be ashamed of themselves for teasing me. Instantly I feel better about myself, dismiss my embarrasing behavior as a child, and set the record straight on why my memory can't be trusted. I tell you this story because I'm sure after three sentences you realized I was no better than the guys at the gym. I'm happy to report I realize that too. What's sad about this whole situation is that I have no way of going back to my classmate from 20 years ago and apologizing. I accept that fact that I must make peace with myself and account for my behavior. The only way to do that is to move forward and pledge to not engage in that type of behavior again.
My challenge to you this week is to settle the dispute between your pride and memory. In my opinion, pride is what should motivate us to push ourselves for better results. Our memory should be what keeps us on track. The two are in constant battle trying to determine which should influence our behavior. Spend this week addressing a particular issue for which pride has silenced your memory. Whether it’s a compromise on a team project, or a concession on an individual goal, let your memory guide your next move. Take advantage of first hand experience from similar situations in the past. I suspect it was your memory that propelled you into the leadership role you have. You learned through experience and utilized that experience to drive results. Your pride kept you hungry but is waiting for the opportunity steal the credit for your success. There is a phrase that goes something like, 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result'. Perhaps its not insanity but pride that blinds us to the barriers that keeps us from being great.
Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
