Moral Standing

There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it. ~ Denis Diderot

I am a member of many organizations that are committed to community service and leadership. We stand side by side and proclaim to reject all that is wrong in our community and be models for all that is right. We profess to reject violence, discrimination, every 'ism' you can name, and infractions against humanity. In other words, we reject what my daughter describes as 'mean people' and the mean things they do. Why is it then that more often than not, it gets harder to hear this unified voice of peace and unity? I suspect that for every person who is truly trying to do the right thing, they are trumped by the scores of people who simply don't have time to join them. I'm careful not to say they don't care because I believe most people do. As this weeks quote highlights however, doing the right thing absolutely involves some element of doing the convenient thing. I've often wondered how leaders are able to use the word 'fantastic' to describe their mood EVERY DAY! After the fifth day I walk away wondering what they've avoided addressing in order to keep their harmony. While I shouldn't assume that they've avoided anything, it is something that gives me pause considering the plethora of issues we need to address in our places of business and community.

My challenge to you this week is to do one thing for someone that you know needs to be done but is inconvenient for you personally. You may choose to help an elderly person register to vote, take your neighbor grocery shopping, or give someone feedback that they absolutely need to hear. For all the things that make our leaders great, both past and present, it is their ability to do what is too inconvenient for the rest of us that stands out most. I dare say that everyone reading this email is great. What we must do this week is practice the skill of embracing inconvenience to be ready for anything that comes our way. It’s the inconvenient times, not the smooth times, that our leadership is needed most.

Alonzo Kelly

President Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

www.tmulyp.org

Change does not necessarily assure progress, but progress implacably requires change. Education is essential to change, for education creates both new wants and the ability to satisfy them. ~ Henry Steele Commager


I'm not sure about you but I've been pounded over the head with the word 'change' so much that I'm afraid to even use it in a sentence. Our elected officials promise to bring change to our government. Our corporations will change the way they do business. Technology will change the way we view the environment. My daughter vows to change her attitude. It goes on and on. This past week I received feedback on my midyear review that almost made me change the way I go about my job. The feedback was very clear, very direct, and certainly created a renewed sense of urgency. What my boss was looking for is exactly what Mr. Commager identified as the source of change. Progress is what my boss was after. Progress is also what our government, corporations, environment, and yes our parents are ultimately hoping to achieve. In order to progress at anything we must first educate ourselves on what we want the end result to be and then be daring and bold enough to act on this new information. Change for sake of change is a complete waste of time and resources. Progress for sake of progress on the other hand implies a step in the right direction and an increased capacity for learning.

My challenge to you this week is to not get caught up in the rhetoric of change. Examine a particular project or process that you a currently involved with and renew your focus on the end result. Whether you are gearing up for students to return to the classroom, or contemplating making an adjustment to your personal circle of influence, keep your eye on where you want to ultimately end up. Try not to get lost in the act of doing things differently for risk of losing sight of why you are recommending something different in the first place. Few leaders survive very long if they are known for 'shaking things up' without a clear vision and explanation to the reason behind it.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
www.tmulyp.org

"When I was tired, I slept; When I was hungry, I ate; and when I had to go, well, ya know, I went". ~ Forest Gump "So you just ran?" ~ Lady at the bus stop "Well, Yea!" ~ Forest Gump

The movie Forest Gump has some of the best lines ever written in a movie. While everyone remembers his box of chocolate references, one of his best lines was part of a dialogue he had with a lady on a bench while waiting for the bus. It’s a simple instruction on achieving incredible results through disciplined focus. I suppose our Olympic athletes also provide this same lesson by being the best in their country at a specific event. Rather than trying to be decent at all things, they choose to be excellent at a few. I wonder what I could accomplish if I chose to focus on changing one part of our community at a time rather than all of it at once? If on Mondays I feed the homeless and Tuesdays teach children to read, could I actually end homelessness by teaching kids to read on Mondays and Tuesdays? I'm not sure of the ultimate result but I do realize that I'm cheating both groups if I'm not completely focused on either. If it were my career we were talking about, I would have to ask what I think I could accomplish with my team if we focused on being excellent at a few things rather than decent at a bunch of stuff. These are tough questions but necessary to address in order to take my personal and professional development to the next level. Forest Gump slept when he was tired, ate when he was hungry, and went to the bathroom when he had to. But at the end of the day there was never any doubt what his energy was focused on; he was running. Nothing else. And that's why he was able to run from coast to coast.

My challenge to you this week is to commit to completing one task this week with an excellent result. Don't turn in a good report, turn in a GREAT report. Don't complete a task on time, complete the task BEFORE its due. Don't just play catch with your children or pets for sake of spending time, play with them so much that they can't take it anymore! If we can commit to focusing on one task and completing it without distraction, we will begin to realize what we are truly capable of. When you're tired, rest, and when you're hungry, eat. But after each of those necessary breaks, resume your focus on excellence. If we can do that, our combined excellent efforts will produce extraordinary results!

Alonzo Kelly

President

Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

www.tmulyp.org

How Do You Manage Your Time

There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. ~ Peter F. Drucker

My boss has us doing an exercise that involves an inventory and assessment of how we spend our time. The entire exercise causes me to examine my priorities and personal level of accountability (which I'm sure was her intention in the first place!). One of my biggest take away from the exercise is that I've somehow managed to convince myself that it is indeed possible to be everywhere and actively participate at all times. The scary part is that I've also managed to convince others around me that they can do the same. It’s the few smart ones in my circle of influence that have held tightly to the fact that leadership without focus isn't leadership at all. I quickly discovered that there exists a great opportunity to improve on my ability to model behavior as it relates to time management. Mr. Drucker politely calls to task those of us that have meetings on our calendars 30 minutes longer than they need to be, engagements after work that do nothing for our health or work/life balance, and make excuses for why we won't attempt to offer bold changes on our team which we believe will improve results. My apology goes out to the countless mentors out there that have been telling me this for years. I get it now.

My challenge to you this week is to conduct an audit of how you spend your time and reprioritize. At the most basic level, take a look at your calendars over the next few weeks and rate the meetings you have on a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being 'ADDS SIGNIFICANT VALUE TOWARDS THE ACHIEVEMENT OF OUR GOALS'. Anything that you rate a 5 or below should not be given the same amount of time as something you rate a 9 or 10. At a more strategic level, take a look at how you spend your overall time and examine whether or not it helps achieve your goals personally or professionally. I give Midwest Airlines credit for the bold announcement that they would stop offering some non-direct flights or eliminate leisure destinations from their menu. While there will be some initial challenge with whatever changes you decide to make, you will be stronger in the long run and be better positioned to deliver high quality service to your customers, clients, students, family, and yourself.

Alonzo Kelly
President-Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

When Communicating with Others

Don't be bashful when communicating guidelines. If you are bashful about guidelines they morph into guidance. They are two very different things!

~ Andrew Owen, Executive Vice President, Head of Invest Products and Operations,
Wells Fargo Funds Management Group

This past weekend my daughter and I had plenty of opportunity to discuss and reinforce the rules of the house. One such rule involves a tree. There is a tree on our neighbors lawn that has the same effect on kids as candy in the candy store. It stares at them with its tempting branches and beautiful leaves. Its just low enough that kids can reach out and grab its limbs without giving a single thought about asking permission first. Its also just high enough for a kid to break every bone in their body with one miscalculated step. My wife and I originally told our daughter that we didn't think it was a good idea for her to climb the tree. Then we moved toward saying it would not make us happy if she climbed the tree. Finally, SHE IS NOT TO CLIMB THE TREE! PERIOD! Every time we found our daughter in the tree she said she knew we didn't like her in there but couldn't come up with a reason why she did it anyway. I suspect that had I listened to Mr. Owens words regarding guidance and guidelines, the tree issue would have been settled a long time ago. Of course, this same lesson applies to our own lives both personally and professionally as well. While my boss doesn't seem to struggle with the difference between guidance and guidelines, I admit that there's opportunity for my own improvement in this area when it comes to communicating with my team (and children).

My challenge for you this week is to commit to making it clear when you communicating guidelines and/or simply offering guidance. There is probably no greater disappointment than when a team doesn't achieve a goal and the reason it wasn't accomplished was because of the leaders poor communication. On a personal level, I suppose this is what happens every January 1st when we are making our New Year's resolutions. On a professional level, I would suspect this is also what happens when a team misses deadlines. As Mr. Owen correctly points out, there is a distinct difference between the two. Leaders take the time to make sure they understand them both and accept the consequences when you are not clear on either.

Alonzo Kelly
President Milwaukee
Urban League Young Professionals

Celebrate Your Life

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. ~ Robert Frost


This past week had to have been one of the toughest of my short 34 years of life. I buried a friend. After coming to grips with the realities of life and death, I was comforted by family, friends, and peers. The words that were shared with me I shall not be able to repeat word for word but their rooted message will live with me forever. Losing someone you love is not easy, I am not 'fine', and I will never get over it. But I also heard them say, as Mr. Frost points out, life goes on, it has to. It has been a long time since the lessons regarding choice have been so clear. I choose to remember my friend for being one of the first to teach me to stand up for myself. I choose to remember him laughing not crying. I choose the lesson of love and happiness versus sadness and sorrow. A former boss used to tell his employees that he has never had a bad day at work in his life. He would always say that if he didn't like his job he would simply leave it. I admit that until last week, I still rolled my eyes at the thought. Then it struck me that he too was talking about choice. As leaders, what we do, how we do it, and whom we do it with matters. We continue to write the story for our life which will inevitably be the most beautiful story about us ever written and told.

My challenge to you this week is to celebrate your story as written thus far. Don't wait for us to do it for you. The story of my friend Mark points out that we seldom get a choice in how the story ends. If that is indeed the case, then every page and every chapter should make for a beautiful ending. Take a friend out for ice cream this week and simply say its because you've earned it. Take your kids to the park by surprise and explain to them that you are celebrating the accomplishments of their mom and/or dad. You are beautiful and some of the best stories ever told are by the people who lived through them. The best leadership books on my shelf at home are written and told by the people whom the book is about. While recounts, reflections, and memoirs are nice books to have, there is no one who can tell a more beautiful story about you than YOU!


Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Dare to Be Great

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether or not I am afraid. ~ Audre Lorde

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes us so afraid to be great. What is the fear that keeps many of us from reaching our full potential? There are so many quotes out there that speak of not being afraid that it would be impossible to mention them all. Each of them speaks to us about being focused, resilient, and confident. Perhaps it isn't so much our fears that keep us from being great but the pressures of being great itself that holds us back. I dare say that most of us dream of purchasing the winning lottery ticket but we can also tell stories of what happens when people become instant millionaires. Often times the winners are in worse positions than before they started. Why? Because they weren't prepared for their vision becoming a reality. Ever seen a child with a brand new bike? Did you notice how long it took him to crash it? Again the reason being because they weren't prepared for their vision to become a reality. So how do you prepare yourself to be great so that when the time comes you're ready? I offer this simple solution; accept your greatness today. You don't need a winning lottery ticket, new bike, or approval from someone other than you to deemed as great. As our quote this week suggests, use your strength in the service of your vision. If you believe and see yourself as great then the fears of failure don't matter. You will already have conquered them.

My challenge to you this week is to accept your own greatness. Accepting your greatness does not make you conceded or arrogant. What it does is allow you to get over the distraction of fear and get on with the business of building upon what you already know to be true. A mother or father that provides for their children is great. A teacher that increases the mental capacity of a student one lesson at a time is great. A leader that listens, supports, and drives results through others is great. Our brothers and sisters in the community that have made the commitment of making yesterday the last day they are not in control of their own destiny is great. So the only question left regarding greatness isn't what are you afraid of but rather why aren't you prepared?



Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

No snow flake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. ~ Voltaire

On a recent flight for business, I had the honor of listening to two black young men discuss their futures. The boys could not have been older than 13 but based on their conversation, life experiences have aged them well beyond their years. I listened to them talk about high school and college as though it were more of a necessary evil than a key to their future. I admit to taking some joy in the fact that at least they were talking about going to college at all. How they arrive there isn't as important to me anymore; I just need them to go! They were discussing sports, homework, fraternities, parties, and of course girls. I couldn't help myself and leaned over to ask the boys who inspired them to go to college. They said it wasn't a particular person but probably the whole family that said they need to go. One boy even offered that he didn't have a choice. His mom said that if he didn't go he wasn't going to be able to stay in her house. I assumed by the rather large smile from the lady in the seat in front of them that she was indeed his mother. I asked them if all their friends talk about going to college. I have to respect their honesty because they said that while most of their friends talk about it, they probably won't go. We talked about college for another 20 minutes or so and then our adult conversation window was slammed shut. An electronic pocket game was pulled out and the young men were boys again. Of all the things we talked about, I couldn't help but focus on the comment about the family unit being the inspiration for college. Voltaire offers a powerful visual of how a single contribution can cause a massive movement though no single element wants credit nor takes blame.

My challenge to you this week is to cause an avalanche of kindness. Partner with a few individuals from your circle of influence and do one hour of community service together. Meet at the park with a garbage bag in your had and pick up paper while walking and catching up with one another. Call the local long term care facility and ask if you can help plant flowers with a few residents. Locate the next high school graduation in your local area and attend with a few friends. High five the graduates and tell them thanks! Our result will be an avalanche of random kindness that blankets the community. None of us will know if it was our individual act that caused such a movement, nor will any of us care. That's the essence of leadership. Selfless behavior guiding the direction for others.

Alonzo Kelly

President

Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Can You Fly?

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyway. ~ Mary Kay Ash

I wondered this past week what we would be capable of if we didn't limit ourselves to what we believe is 'humanly possible'. There is no invention or convenience of today that was certain from the start that it would work. In fact, it was proving the doubters wrong of what was claimed to be +-'inhumanly possible' that probably drove most inventors. In college I debated whether or not to double major with accounting and a foreign language. I concluded it was not humanly possible to play basketball, pass accounting and learn a new language at the same time. That is until I met someone from another school who also played basketball, majored in accounting, had only been in the United States for 4 years, and was an ESL (English as a Second Language) student. I asked him how he did it and he said, '..I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do that!..'. This weeks leadership thought is short and simple because its not necessary to over complicate the issue. The leadership lesson is offered by the bumblebee who doesn't subscribe nor does he care about what others say he shouldn't be able to do.
My challenge to you this week is to commit to doing something extraordinary! If there is one thing that concerns me about our current economic times, it’s the fact that we are being led to believe that smiling and enjoying life are not supposed to be happening. I say smile a little longer, laugh a little louder, and pass it on! Extend a hearty 'GOOD MORNING!' to the patron next to you at the gas pump. Smile at the car that passes you in traffic that can't imagine you would have the audacity to do the speed limit. Complete a project this week that wasn't supposed to be done until 4 weeks from now! It's not until we become immune to our supposed inabilities that we conquer all that is truly humanly possible.

Alonzo Kelly

President

Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Tell Me What You Know

Stay at home in your mind. Don’t recite other people's opinions. I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. Journals, 1843 ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson



As I continue to grow in this role of leadership, I find myself amused at how much I've become like my mom. Like most of you reading this, I swore that turning into one of my parents would never happen. My mom used to be adamant that I stop always telling her what other people thought and express an opinion of my own. I always assumed that if I referenced how another person felt about an issue, it would not only make me appear to be smarter, but would further validate my opinion. While trying to figure out a solution to a particular societal issue of today, I need look no further than the local evening news or global news media to provide all the answers because they do after all know what they're talking about, right? How else would you explain their ability to recite data, statistics, and historical trends as it relates to violence, healthcare, our economy, and education? All that's necesssary is to reference their solutions and set mine aside since they obviously know more about the issue than I do, correct? I'm hoping by now you've caught my poor attempt to point out how rediculous it is to believe that news reporters are the best qualified people to solve our everyday problems. While I certainly respect their profession, I do not believe they are the final authority on solutions to problems in the world. Mr. Emerson must have motivated my mom because he knew 165 years ago that those who can't use their own mind and state their own opinion render themselves useless to the discussion and meaningless to the solution.

My challenge to you this week is to speak YOUR mind and tell us what YOU know. When asked about our economy, tell us what YOU think it will take to fix it. When asked about the state of affairs in our community, state what YOU believe to be true. Much of what is wrong with our community today is that we rely so heavily on the opinion of others. If you don't have an answer for the question posed, then embrace the teachable moment and research the facts to design your own solution. Last week I mentioned that if you weren't confused you weren't paying attention. That quote applies this week as well. Leaders relish the opportunity to discover new ways to address a particular issue and meet the needs of their clients, customers, students, or consumers. How ironic is it that Mr. Emerson hates quotations but remains one of the most quoted figures to this day. Perhaps the lesson he teaches us is that leadership is hard enough as it is without having to think for everyone else as well.



Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Never Give Up

I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality।
~ Salvador Dali

My daughter explained to me on the way to school this morning why birds can fly and dogs can't. She said that birds can fly because they need to sleep in the trees. Dogs can't because they would fall out of trees if they fell asleep on top of one. When I asked about the role of feathers she said they keep the birds warm in the air because its cold and they wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Of course she left me completely confused and in awe for the next 30 blocks. Why is it that children don't seem to get bogged down by distracting details and would rather just focus on what makes sense? Have you ever looked at a child after answering a question and simply said, '..it's just that simple for you isn't it..'. I will admit that I had to read the quote from Mr. Dali about three times before I understood it enough to have a take away from it. I tend to discount reality when I find myself too tired to properly explain why things are the way they are. It is not until I begin to have 'paranoiac' thoughts that I seem to consciously ignore anything that is distracting to the answer and focus only on what makes sense. It is at this moment that I would argue we are at our best. It was Tom Peters who stated, 'If you're not confused, you're not paying attention'. You find me a group of people that are confused about a problem and I'll bet that they, by far, will design the best solution.

My challenge to you this week is to address an area of confusion in your life. It can be a competency skill at work, an inability to connect with a child, or problem solving an equation at school. Our greatest conveniences of today are rooted in utter chaos and mass confusion. Every time you use the phone, turn on your lights, or start your car this week, thank the people from the past for being both confused and relentless. Leaders have no sense of prevailing reality because, quite honestly, we can't afford to. While confusion can be the biggest contributor to daily frustration, it is also the hunger for the solution that will separate the leaders from the followers.



Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Brevity

Be sincere; be brief; be seated.

~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Last week in San Francisco while waiting to board my flight, I witnessed an interesting exchange between a passenger and a customer service representative. I don't know what prompted the exchange but here's the part I heard; "… yes ma'am but here's the point you're missing, I can't be any more clear than I have been already. How do you suggest I explain it in a way that you won't ask me the same question over and over again?". I had about 4 hours to think about what I had just heard. By the time I landed back in Milwaukee, here's what I understood to be true. Just like it doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine, it shouldn't take a lot of words to make a clear point. In fact, some of the most powerful phrases ever uttered have been short, precise, and to the point. The phrases 'I love you', 'thank you', and 'I apologize' will go down as the greatest phrases of all time.

My challenge to you this week is to be sincere, be brief, and be seated। There is a word for this; it's called brevity. I usually provide the definition but I'll let you do the work this time. Mr. Roosevelt understood that the longer it takes you to 'land the plane', the longer you hold the rest of us hostage in your conversation. Leaders don't need long sentences and big words to drive results. You just need to be clear and available.

Alonzo Kelly

President

Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Watch Your Words

If: 1.a. In the event that: b. Granting that: c. On the condition that. 2. Although possibly, even though. 3. Whether. 4. Used to introduce an exclamatory clause, indicating a wish.
~The American Heritage College Dictionary; Third Edition

One of the most fascinating things about politics is the attempt to make a universal sell on change. For as long as I can remember, every person needing my vote has articulated why the governmental body, system, or agency they were inheriting was broken. Should you accept their opinion as fact, for the last 30 years you would swear that no citizen has ever had a job or health insurance, the educational system has always been a complete disaster, the water has always been polluted, we have always been over taxed, and societal ills were not just a symptom but an incurable disease. Ask a person in the process of leaving office why they couldn't deliver on their promises and they inevitably start with the word 'if'. They say things like, '..If my opponents had only supported more of what I was trying to do..', or '…If I had been given more access to resources..', blah blah blah. Why can't we just deliver on a goal and eliminate the excuse of conditions, possibilities, or wishes? What would be wrong with stating, "…When I am elected, I will spend the first six months trying to understand what has gone wrong with the promises made x years ago. I will then spend the next 6 months offering a measurable and transparent solution for what it will take to fix it.". I'm not sure in today's society that we accept just anyone's word as truth without having had the opportunity to observe their behavior. Politicians aren't the only one's I challenge with this idea. I hold you as everyday leaders to this same standard. Why does delivering on a goal have to be such a painful experience? When you are charged with educating someone, simply deliver on that goal and educate. When you are charged with delivering a quality product then do it! The word 'if' in our vocabulary was like kryptonite to Superman. Avoid the word, or the temptation to use the word, and you avoid the failure to deliver.

My challenge to you this week is to try to go an entire week without using the word if. Speak very matter of factly about what you can deliver without stipulations or 'if's'. This week I am committed to being on time for every meeting on my calendar. What are you willing to commit to that we can hold you accountable? I suppose you can keep using the word 'if' in your vocabulary this week to continue to be comfortable. Please then understand that as a client, customer, student, patient, or someone that relies your service, I may not be interested in growing our relationship. After all, I can only commit to you when you decide to commit to me.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

What do you lack?

People do not lack strength, they lack will. ~ Victor Hugo

I spent this past week doing what I suspect (or hope) many of you did. I listened to stories about Dr. Martin Luther King and reflected on the impact of his legacy on my life. We celebrated the anniversary of his assassination this past week and meditated on how far we've come since his untimely death. Dr. King spoke to each of us in his own way and his message called us to our own course of action. I will always be in awe at his courage to refuse to be distracted from his dream. If you pay close attention to the many speeches that conveniently air between late January and early April, there was one thing Dr. King said that sums up his character for me. Less than 24 hours before he was shot, he gave a speech where within the text he said, "…I have seen the promise land. I might not get there with you but we will get there…". I've often said that many of our great African American leaders were no different than you or I or anyone else in our community. What set them apart was their will. Victor Hugo points out that its not a matter of strength but a matter of will that makes us great. I don’t know if Dr. King had the ability to foresee his death or it was just a terrible coincidence that made him say out loud, for the first time, that he may not be able to see that which he spent his entire life trying to achieve. All he knew was that what he believed in and was fighting for was right. It wasn't solely his strength that kept him in harms way but the will to overcome the resistance towards achieving a desired goal. Many of us say that we would dedicate our lives to a purpose which ensures a better life for our children. I doubt many of us mean it as much as Dr. King did.

My challenge to you this week is to thank Dr. Martin Luther King. Thank him not for what he did but what he challenged us to be. Then apologize for reaping the fruits of his labor and taking for granted the cost he paid for our future. We dishonor him by not voting during election seasons. We add insult to injury by not ensuring our neighbor voted as well. We dishonor him by simply rolling our eyes at deplorable graduation and pregnancy rates within our community but still do nothing about it. We dishonor him by believing it is our own backyards that are most important and not our neighbors as well. At Dr. King's funeral, it was his own words and no one else's, that provided the eulogy. They played an audio tape for the 30,000+ that gathered during his funeral service to listen to his demand that we not remember him for winning a Nobel Peace Prize but for being a drum major beating the drum for which we march towards a better life for all men and women. This week, more than any other, I challenge you to be a leader and let your will be the strongest part of your identity. Honor Dr. King by honoring your responsibility as a leader.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Pride and Memory

'I have done that', says my memory. 'I cannot have done that!', says my pride, and remains adamant. At last, memory yields. ~ Nietzsche

When I was in 8th grade, I teased a girl relentlessly for not being able to make a basket during gym class. She was always dribbling the ball off her feet and couldn't put the ball in the hoop if her life depended on it. The class knew I would have something to say as soon as it was her turn to shoot and braced themselves for the hilarious 'venom' I would spew the second the ball left her hands. Two days ago I played a pick-up game of basketball. After 6+ surgeries on both knees, it was very apparent I had no business being out there. I couldn't run, I couldn't dribble, I couldn't shoot, and I definitely couldn't make a basket. The guys on the sidelines had a field day with my comedy show! It wasn't enough that I was trying as hard as I could. To them, I was a clown in street clothes hanging on to hoop dreams I should have abandoned long ago. My memory takes me back to 8th grade when I was the one doing the teasing. Over time I have matured but my pride still won't allow me to believe that I was really as bad as the guys at the gym over the weekend. Alas, I convince myself that they were worse and should be ashamed of themselves for teasing me. Instantly I feel better about myself, dismiss my embarrasing behavior as a child, and set the record straight on why my memory can't be trusted. I tell you this story because I'm sure after three sentences you realized I was no better than the guys at the gym. I'm happy to report I realize that too. What's sad about this whole situation is that I have no way of going back to my classmate from 20 years ago and apologizing. I accept that fact that I must make peace with myself and account for my behavior. The only way to do that is to move forward and pledge to not engage in that type of behavior again.

My challenge to you this week is to settle the dispute between your pride and memory. In my opinion, pride is what should motivate us to push ourselves for better results. Our memory should be what keeps us on track. The two are in constant battle trying to determine which should influence our behavior. Spend this week addressing a particular issue for which pride has silenced your memory. Whether it’s a compromise on a team project, or a concession on an individual goal, let your memory guide your next move. Take advantage of first hand experience from similar situations in the past. I suspect it was your memory that propelled you into the leadership role you have. You learned through experience and utilized that experience to drive results. Your pride kept you hungry but is waiting for the opportunity steal the credit for your success. There is a phrase that goes something like, 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result'. Perhaps its not insanity but pride that blinds us to the barriers that keeps us from being great.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals