When Communicating with Others

Don't be bashful when communicating guidelines. If you are bashful about guidelines they morph into guidance. They are two very different things!

~ Andrew Owen, Executive Vice President, Head of Invest Products and Operations,
Wells Fargo Funds Management Group

This past weekend my daughter and I had plenty of opportunity to discuss and reinforce the rules of the house. One such rule involves a tree. There is a tree on our neighbors lawn that has the same effect on kids as candy in the candy store. It stares at them with its tempting branches and beautiful leaves. Its just low enough that kids can reach out and grab its limbs without giving a single thought about asking permission first. Its also just high enough for a kid to break every bone in their body with one miscalculated step. My wife and I originally told our daughter that we didn't think it was a good idea for her to climb the tree. Then we moved toward saying it would not make us happy if she climbed the tree. Finally, SHE IS NOT TO CLIMB THE TREE! PERIOD! Every time we found our daughter in the tree she said she knew we didn't like her in there but couldn't come up with a reason why she did it anyway. I suspect that had I listened to Mr. Owens words regarding guidance and guidelines, the tree issue would have been settled a long time ago. Of course, this same lesson applies to our own lives both personally and professionally as well. While my boss doesn't seem to struggle with the difference between guidance and guidelines, I admit that there's opportunity for my own improvement in this area when it comes to communicating with my team (and children).

My challenge for you this week is to commit to making it clear when you communicating guidelines and/or simply offering guidance. There is probably no greater disappointment than when a team doesn't achieve a goal and the reason it wasn't accomplished was because of the leaders poor communication. On a personal level, I suppose this is what happens every January 1st when we are making our New Year's resolutions. On a professional level, I would suspect this is also what happens when a team misses deadlines. As Mr. Owen correctly points out, there is a distinct difference between the two. Leaders take the time to make sure they understand them both and accept the consequences when you are not clear on either.

Alonzo Kelly
President Milwaukee
Urban League Young Professionals

Celebrate Your Life

In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. ~ Robert Frost


This past week had to have been one of the toughest of my short 34 years of life. I buried a friend. After coming to grips with the realities of life and death, I was comforted by family, friends, and peers. The words that were shared with me I shall not be able to repeat word for word but their rooted message will live with me forever. Losing someone you love is not easy, I am not 'fine', and I will never get over it. But I also heard them say, as Mr. Frost points out, life goes on, it has to. It has been a long time since the lessons regarding choice have been so clear. I choose to remember my friend for being one of the first to teach me to stand up for myself. I choose to remember him laughing not crying. I choose the lesson of love and happiness versus sadness and sorrow. A former boss used to tell his employees that he has never had a bad day at work in his life. He would always say that if he didn't like his job he would simply leave it. I admit that until last week, I still rolled my eyes at the thought. Then it struck me that he too was talking about choice. As leaders, what we do, how we do it, and whom we do it with matters. We continue to write the story for our life which will inevitably be the most beautiful story about us ever written and told.

My challenge to you this week is to celebrate your story as written thus far. Don't wait for us to do it for you. The story of my friend Mark points out that we seldom get a choice in how the story ends. If that is indeed the case, then every page and every chapter should make for a beautiful ending. Take a friend out for ice cream this week and simply say its because you've earned it. Take your kids to the park by surprise and explain to them that you are celebrating the accomplishments of their mom and/or dad. You are beautiful and some of the best stories ever told are by the people who lived through them. The best leadership books on my shelf at home are written and told by the people whom the book is about. While recounts, reflections, and memoirs are nice books to have, there is no one who can tell a more beautiful story about you than YOU!


Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Dare to Be Great

When I dare to be powerful, to use my strength in the service of my vision, then it becomes less and less important whether or not I am afraid. ~ Audre Lorde

I've been thinking a lot lately about what makes us so afraid to be great. What is the fear that keeps many of us from reaching our full potential? There are so many quotes out there that speak of not being afraid that it would be impossible to mention them all. Each of them speaks to us about being focused, resilient, and confident. Perhaps it isn't so much our fears that keep us from being great but the pressures of being great itself that holds us back. I dare say that most of us dream of purchasing the winning lottery ticket but we can also tell stories of what happens when people become instant millionaires. Often times the winners are in worse positions than before they started. Why? Because they weren't prepared for their vision becoming a reality. Ever seen a child with a brand new bike? Did you notice how long it took him to crash it? Again the reason being because they weren't prepared for their vision to become a reality. So how do you prepare yourself to be great so that when the time comes you're ready? I offer this simple solution; accept your greatness today. You don't need a winning lottery ticket, new bike, or approval from someone other than you to deemed as great. As our quote this week suggests, use your strength in the service of your vision. If you believe and see yourself as great then the fears of failure don't matter. You will already have conquered them.

My challenge to you this week is to accept your own greatness. Accepting your greatness does not make you conceded or arrogant. What it does is allow you to get over the distraction of fear and get on with the business of building upon what you already know to be true. A mother or father that provides for their children is great. A teacher that increases the mental capacity of a student one lesson at a time is great. A leader that listens, supports, and drives results through others is great. Our brothers and sisters in the community that have made the commitment of making yesterday the last day they are not in control of their own destiny is great. So the only question left regarding greatness isn't what are you afraid of but rather why aren't you prepared?



Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

No snow flake in an avalanche ever feels responsible. ~ Voltaire

On a recent flight for business, I had the honor of listening to two black young men discuss their futures. The boys could not have been older than 13 but based on their conversation, life experiences have aged them well beyond their years. I listened to them talk about high school and college as though it were more of a necessary evil than a key to their future. I admit to taking some joy in the fact that at least they were talking about going to college at all. How they arrive there isn't as important to me anymore; I just need them to go! They were discussing sports, homework, fraternities, parties, and of course girls. I couldn't help myself and leaned over to ask the boys who inspired them to go to college. They said it wasn't a particular person but probably the whole family that said they need to go. One boy even offered that he didn't have a choice. His mom said that if he didn't go he wasn't going to be able to stay in her house. I assumed by the rather large smile from the lady in the seat in front of them that she was indeed his mother. I asked them if all their friends talk about going to college. I have to respect their honesty because they said that while most of their friends talk about it, they probably won't go. We talked about college for another 20 minutes or so and then our adult conversation window was slammed shut. An electronic pocket game was pulled out and the young men were boys again. Of all the things we talked about, I couldn't help but focus on the comment about the family unit being the inspiration for college. Voltaire offers a powerful visual of how a single contribution can cause a massive movement though no single element wants credit nor takes blame.

My challenge to you this week is to cause an avalanche of kindness. Partner with a few individuals from your circle of influence and do one hour of community service together. Meet at the park with a garbage bag in your had and pick up paper while walking and catching up with one another. Call the local long term care facility and ask if you can help plant flowers with a few residents. Locate the next high school graduation in your local area and attend with a few friends. High five the graduates and tell them thanks! Our result will be an avalanche of random kindness that blankets the community. None of us will know if it was our individual act that caused such a movement, nor will any of us care. That's the essence of leadership. Selfless behavior guiding the direction for others.

Alonzo Kelly

President

Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Can You Fly?

Aerodynamically the bumblebee shouldn't be able to fly, but the bumblebee doesn't know that, so it goes on flying anyway. ~ Mary Kay Ash

I wondered this past week what we would be capable of if we didn't limit ourselves to what we believe is 'humanly possible'. There is no invention or convenience of today that was certain from the start that it would work. In fact, it was proving the doubters wrong of what was claimed to be +-'inhumanly possible' that probably drove most inventors. In college I debated whether or not to double major with accounting and a foreign language. I concluded it was not humanly possible to play basketball, pass accounting and learn a new language at the same time. That is until I met someone from another school who also played basketball, majored in accounting, had only been in the United States for 4 years, and was an ESL (English as a Second Language) student. I asked him how he did it and he said, '..I didn't know I wasn't supposed to do that!..'. This weeks leadership thought is short and simple because its not necessary to over complicate the issue. The leadership lesson is offered by the bumblebee who doesn't subscribe nor does he care about what others say he shouldn't be able to do.
My challenge to you this week is to commit to doing something extraordinary! If there is one thing that concerns me about our current economic times, it’s the fact that we are being led to believe that smiling and enjoying life are not supposed to be happening. I say smile a little longer, laugh a little louder, and pass it on! Extend a hearty 'GOOD MORNING!' to the patron next to you at the gas pump. Smile at the car that passes you in traffic that can't imagine you would have the audacity to do the speed limit. Complete a project this week that wasn't supposed to be done until 4 weeks from now! It's not until we become immune to our supposed inabilities that we conquer all that is truly humanly possible.

Alonzo Kelly

President

Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Tell Me What You Know

Stay at home in your mind. Don’t recite other people's opinions. I hate quotations. Tell me what you know. Journals, 1843 ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson



As I continue to grow in this role of leadership, I find myself amused at how much I've become like my mom. Like most of you reading this, I swore that turning into one of my parents would never happen. My mom used to be adamant that I stop always telling her what other people thought and express an opinion of my own. I always assumed that if I referenced how another person felt about an issue, it would not only make me appear to be smarter, but would further validate my opinion. While trying to figure out a solution to a particular societal issue of today, I need look no further than the local evening news or global news media to provide all the answers because they do after all know what they're talking about, right? How else would you explain their ability to recite data, statistics, and historical trends as it relates to violence, healthcare, our economy, and education? All that's necesssary is to reference their solutions and set mine aside since they obviously know more about the issue than I do, correct? I'm hoping by now you've caught my poor attempt to point out how rediculous it is to believe that news reporters are the best qualified people to solve our everyday problems. While I certainly respect their profession, I do not believe they are the final authority on solutions to problems in the world. Mr. Emerson must have motivated my mom because he knew 165 years ago that those who can't use their own mind and state their own opinion render themselves useless to the discussion and meaningless to the solution.

My challenge to you this week is to speak YOUR mind and tell us what YOU know. When asked about our economy, tell us what YOU think it will take to fix it. When asked about the state of affairs in our community, state what YOU believe to be true. Much of what is wrong with our community today is that we rely so heavily on the opinion of others. If you don't have an answer for the question posed, then embrace the teachable moment and research the facts to design your own solution. Last week I mentioned that if you weren't confused you weren't paying attention. That quote applies this week as well. Leaders relish the opportunity to discover new ways to address a particular issue and meet the needs of their clients, customers, students, or consumers. How ironic is it that Mr. Emerson hates quotations but remains one of the most quoted figures to this day. Perhaps the lesson he teaches us is that leadership is hard enough as it is without having to think for everyone else as well.



Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Never Give Up

I believe that the moment is near when by a procedure of paranoiac thought, it will be possible to systematize confusion and contribute to the total discrediting of the world of reality।
~ Salvador Dali

My daughter explained to me on the way to school this morning why birds can fly and dogs can't. She said that birds can fly because they need to sleep in the trees. Dogs can't because they would fall out of trees if they fell asleep on top of one. When I asked about the role of feathers she said they keep the birds warm in the air because its cold and they wouldn't be able to sleep at night. Of course she left me completely confused and in awe for the next 30 blocks. Why is it that children don't seem to get bogged down by distracting details and would rather just focus on what makes sense? Have you ever looked at a child after answering a question and simply said, '..it's just that simple for you isn't it..'. I will admit that I had to read the quote from Mr. Dali about three times before I understood it enough to have a take away from it. I tend to discount reality when I find myself too tired to properly explain why things are the way they are. It is not until I begin to have 'paranoiac' thoughts that I seem to consciously ignore anything that is distracting to the answer and focus only on what makes sense. It is at this moment that I would argue we are at our best. It was Tom Peters who stated, 'If you're not confused, you're not paying attention'. You find me a group of people that are confused about a problem and I'll bet that they, by far, will design the best solution.

My challenge to you this week is to address an area of confusion in your life. It can be a competency skill at work, an inability to connect with a child, or problem solving an equation at school. Our greatest conveniences of today are rooted in utter chaos and mass confusion. Every time you use the phone, turn on your lights, or start your car this week, thank the people from the past for being both confused and relentless. Leaders have no sense of prevailing reality because, quite honestly, we can't afford to. While confusion can be the biggest contributor to daily frustration, it is also the hunger for the solution that will separate the leaders from the followers.



Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Brevity

Be sincere; be brief; be seated.

~ Franklin Delano Roosevelt

Last week in San Francisco while waiting to board my flight, I witnessed an interesting exchange between a passenger and a customer service representative. I don't know what prompted the exchange but here's the part I heard; "… yes ma'am but here's the point you're missing, I can't be any more clear than I have been already. How do you suggest I explain it in a way that you won't ask me the same question over and over again?". I had about 4 hours to think about what I had just heard. By the time I landed back in Milwaukee, here's what I understood to be true. Just like it doesn't take a whole day to recognize sunshine, it shouldn't take a lot of words to make a clear point. In fact, some of the most powerful phrases ever uttered have been short, precise, and to the point. The phrases 'I love you', 'thank you', and 'I apologize' will go down as the greatest phrases of all time.

My challenge to you this week is to be sincere, be brief, and be seated। There is a word for this; it's called brevity. I usually provide the definition but I'll let you do the work this time. Mr. Roosevelt understood that the longer it takes you to 'land the plane', the longer you hold the rest of us hostage in your conversation. Leaders don't need long sentences and big words to drive results. You just need to be clear and available.

Alonzo Kelly

President

Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Watch Your Words

If: 1.a. In the event that: b. Granting that: c. On the condition that. 2. Although possibly, even though. 3. Whether. 4. Used to introduce an exclamatory clause, indicating a wish.
~The American Heritage College Dictionary; Third Edition

One of the most fascinating things about politics is the attempt to make a universal sell on change. For as long as I can remember, every person needing my vote has articulated why the governmental body, system, or agency they were inheriting was broken. Should you accept their opinion as fact, for the last 30 years you would swear that no citizen has ever had a job or health insurance, the educational system has always been a complete disaster, the water has always been polluted, we have always been over taxed, and societal ills were not just a symptom but an incurable disease. Ask a person in the process of leaving office why they couldn't deliver on their promises and they inevitably start with the word 'if'. They say things like, '..If my opponents had only supported more of what I was trying to do..', or '…If I had been given more access to resources..', blah blah blah. Why can't we just deliver on a goal and eliminate the excuse of conditions, possibilities, or wishes? What would be wrong with stating, "…When I am elected, I will spend the first six months trying to understand what has gone wrong with the promises made x years ago. I will then spend the next 6 months offering a measurable and transparent solution for what it will take to fix it.". I'm not sure in today's society that we accept just anyone's word as truth without having had the opportunity to observe their behavior. Politicians aren't the only one's I challenge with this idea. I hold you as everyday leaders to this same standard. Why does delivering on a goal have to be such a painful experience? When you are charged with educating someone, simply deliver on that goal and educate. When you are charged with delivering a quality product then do it! The word 'if' in our vocabulary was like kryptonite to Superman. Avoid the word, or the temptation to use the word, and you avoid the failure to deliver.

My challenge to you this week is to try to go an entire week without using the word if. Speak very matter of factly about what you can deliver without stipulations or 'if's'. This week I am committed to being on time for every meeting on my calendar. What are you willing to commit to that we can hold you accountable? I suppose you can keep using the word 'if' in your vocabulary this week to continue to be comfortable. Please then understand that as a client, customer, student, patient, or someone that relies your service, I may not be interested in growing our relationship. After all, I can only commit to you when you decide to commit to me.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

What do you lack?

People do not lack strength, they lack will. ~ Victor Hugo

I spent this past week doing what I suspect (or hope) many of you did. I listened to stories about Dr. Martin Luther King and reflected on the impact of his legacy on my life. We celebrated the anniversary of his assassination this past week and meditated on how far we've come since his untimely death. Dr. King spoke to each of us in his own way and his message called us to our own course of action. I will always be in awe at his courage to refuse to be distracted from his dream. If you pay close attention to the many speeches that conveniently air between late January and early April, there was one thing Dr. King said that sums up his character for me. Less than 24 hours before he was shot, he gave a speech where within the text he said, "…I have seen the promise land. I might not get there with you but we will get there…". I've often said that many of our great African American leaders were no different than you or I or anyone else in our community. What set them apart was their will. Victor Hugo points out that its not a matter of strength but a matter of will that makes us great. I don’t know if Dr. King had the ability to foresee his death or it was just a terrible coincidence that made him say out loud, for the first time, that he may not be able to see that which he spent his entire life trying to achieve. All he knew was that what he believed in and was fighting for was right. It wasn't solely his strength that kept him in harms way but the will to overcome the resistance towards achieving a desired goal. Many of us say that we would dedicate our lives to a purpose which ensures a better life for our children. I doubt many of us mean it as much as Dr. King did.

My challenge to you this week is to thank Dr. Martin Luther King. Thank him not for what he did but what he challenged us to be. Then apologize for reaping the fruits of his labor and taking for granted the cost he paid for our future. We dishonor him by not voting during election seasons. We add insult to injury by not ensuring our neighbor voted as well. We dishonor him by simply rolling our eyes at deplorable graduation and pregnancy rates within our community but still do nothing about it. We dishonor him by believing it is our own backyards that are most important and not our neighbors as well. At Dr. King's funeral, it was his own words and no one else's, that provided the eulogy. They played an audio tape for the 30,000+ that gathered during his funeral service to listen to his demand that we not remember him for winning a Nobel Peace Prize but for being a drum major beating the drum for which we march towards a better life for all men and women. This week, more than any other, I challenge you to be a leader and let your will be the strongest part of your identity. Honor Dr. King by honoring your responsibility as a leader.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Pride and Memory

'I have done that', says my memory. 'I cannot have done that!', says my pride, and remains adamant. At last, memory yields. ~ Nietzsche

When I was in 8th grade, I teased a girl relentlessly for not being able to make a basket during gym class. She was always dribbling the ball off her feet and couldn't put the ball in the hoop if her life depended on it. The class knew I would have something to say as soon as it was her turn to shoot and braced themselves for the hilarious 'venom' I would spew the second the ball left her hands. Two days ago I played a pick-up game of basketball. After 6+ surgeries on both knees, it was very apparent I had no business being out there. I couldn't run, I couldn't dribble, I couldn't shoot, and I definitely couldn't make a basket. The guys on the sidelines had a field day with my comedy show! It wasn't enough that I was trying as hard as I could. To them, I was a clown in street clothes hanging on to hoop dreams I should have abandoned long ago. My memory takes me back to 8th grade when I was the one doing the teasing. Over time I have matured but my pride still won't allow me to believe that I was really as bad as the guys at the gym over the weekend. Alas, I convince myself that they were worse and should be ashamed of themselves for teasing me. Instantly I feel better about myself, dismiss my embarrasing behavior as a child, and set the record straight on why my memory can't be trusted. I tell you this story because I'm sure after three sentences you realized I was no better than the guys at the gym. I'm happy to report I realize that too. What's sad about this whole situation is that I have no way of going back to my classmate from 20 years ago and apologizing. I accept that fact that I must make peace with myself and account for my behavior. The only way to do that is to move forward and pledge to not engage in that type of behavior again.

My challenge to you this week is to settle the dispute between your pride and memory. In my opinion, pride is what should motivate us to push ourselves for better results. Our memory should be what keeps us on track. The two are in constant battle trying to determine which should influence our behavior. Spend this week addressing a particular issue for which pride has silenced your memory. Whether it’s a compromise on a team project, or a concession on an individual goal, let your memory guide your next move. Take advantage of first hand experience from similar situations in the past. I suspect it was your memory that propelled you into the leadership role you have. You learned through experience and utilized that experience to drive results. Your pride kept you hungry but is waiting for the opportunity steal the credit for your success. There is a phrase that goes something like, 'Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting a different result'. Perhaps its not insanity but pride that blinds us to the barriers that keeps us from being great.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Get Over It

….Well, crying isn't gonna bring him back, unless your tears smell like dog food. ~ Homer Simpson

When I was younger I had a favorite cat named P.C., short for Pussy Cat. (I know, real original). Anyway, our cat had to be returned to the animal shelter for behavioral issues. One day the cat is hissing me goodbye when I leave for school and that afternoon when I returned she was gone. Later on in life I had a dog that I loved dearly. He too needed to be removed from my home and all I could think about was PC. This past week I didn't pass a very important test necessary for my job. I get to take the test again, but that's not the point. For some odd reason, I reflected on my pets during this time of disappointment. I suppose it's because I spent more time thinking about after the test rather than the time at hand. I did the same thing with my pets. I was so busy thinking about tomorrow that I failed to accept the reality of today. Sometimes the best inspiration comes from the most unlikely of sources. Homer Simpson very matter of factly demands that we either let our disappointment go or do something about it. Simply wallowing in our own sorrow does nothing but distract us and those around us. My tears certainly didn't smell like dog or cat food so I suppose that's why neither of my pets came back. I suppose my tears don't smell like right answers either so I must either learn from my mistakes and do whatever is necessary to pass the exam next time, or retreat to a dark corner and feel sorry for myself. Clearly, feeling sorry for myself is not an option.

My challenge to you this week is to pick your head up from a recent disappointment and get over it. If you're thinking 'that's easy for him to say' you would be exactly correct. It is easy for me to say. I'm separating my ability to say it and your ability to actually do it. While I won't pretend to understand the depth of your disappointment from a recent challenge, project, or goal, I will say the fact that you're reading this email means that I need you to snap out of it. As a part of my circle of influence, I hold you accountable for being as strong as the person next to you. Like a computer virus, your inability to snap out of it will find the path of least resistance to infect us all with something we don't want and don't understand. I need you, we need you, at your best. Leaders don't have the luxury of self pity for a prolonged period of time. Accepting the fact that disappointment is part of the human experience, doesn't mean it has to be permanent.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Start the Race!

It's the 'start' that 'stops' most people. ~ Author Unknown

I have a simple question for you; how are you doing on your New Year's resolution(s)? Yep, me too. In fact, I think I've managed to actually gain more weight than I've lost! I was speaking with a friend about his progress and he said, "I think about it everyday so that's a start right?". Actually it's not. I use my own results as proof that thinking about something isn't exactly a 'start' worth bragging about. Many of us think about poverty, homelessness, violence, and education, but don't do anything about it. We also think about improved sales results, more engaged classrooms, completing assignments on time, and social action. Thinking about something just isn't enough. As I watch my son trying to take his first steps, it's clear that he's tired of thinking about walking and spends every waking second trying to master it. I suppose he's tired of getting through his days on his hands and knees and realizes he too must walk to make it easier to get to where he's going. Our children teach us the most valuable lessons if we would just pause and listen to them. Children hardly ever resist starting something new and seldom ever accept defeat if rejected the first time.

My challenge to you this week is to go back to your roots and 'start' something without hesitation. Don't give yourself a clever excuse as to why tomorrow is better than today to start doing what you need to do. My son teaches me on a daily basis what it takes to accomplish a task. Lock onto your target, make every effort to achieve your goal, and don't allow yourself to stay seated when you stumble. Get back up and try again! You can of course continue to allow the 'start' to impede your progress, but at the risk of my 9 month old son asking you how the view is down there on your hands and knees!

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

"By 20, know something. By 30, be something. By 40 have something. By 50 share something…."

"By 20, know something. By 30, be something. By 40 have something. By 50 share something…."
Bennie Fowler, Vice President for Global Quality at Ford Motor Co.

I found this quote over the weekend while reading the Detroit Free Press. It caused me to pause and think if I had actually met Mr. Fowler's blue print for a happy and productive life. It turned out to be a pretty funny reflection because by 20 I realized I didn't know as much as I had hoped, in my 30's I'm still discovering what I am capable of doing, I'm nervous for my 40's because everything I'll have will still be on loan at the bank, and my 50's, well, I try not to think that far ahead. I don't know if Mr. Fowler's advice is appropriate for everyone or not, but I do know that the fact he appeared to have a plan puts him well ahead of the game. It seems that the only thing which causes human beings to actually take themselves seriously is a true sense of urgency. We don't change our diet until we have a stroke or can't fit into our favorite clothes. We don't stop playing with a ball in the house until our parents reached for a belt, branch, shoe or other disciplinary weapon of choice. We don't change our attitude or mind set until we receive feedback that our attitude is precisely the reason we can't get ahead. We don't even change our behavior at home until we're at the brink of being alone. Why does it take us so long to take ourselves seriously? Most people have a person they go to when they need answers to life's most difficult questions. In the Star Wars episodes, Luke Skywalker and the Jedi had Yoda. Bo and Luke Duke had Uncle Jesse. For me, I have my 6 year old daughter Trinity. I asked her what motivates people to change their behavior and she said, "…daddy, I'm not sure. What does motivate mean?". And just like that, I had the answer. Its not that we don't know what we need to do that causes us to delay necessary action, but the fact that we honestly don’t know what motivation is. In my opinion, we confuse motivation with self preservation all the time. If we are standing in the middle of the road and a car is headed for us, its self preservation not true motivation that causes us to move.

My challenge to you this week is simple. Dust off your dictionary and look up the words 'motivate' and 'preserve'. Reflect on your professional journey and see which word applies to your pattern of behavior. Meditate on the opportunities that exist for you to alter your behavior and rediscover a life plan for yourself. There is no magic to the numbers that Mr. Fowler uses in his quote. We don't achieve instant wisdom during every decade of our lives. We do however risk the future of our children if we continue to demonstrate that life without plan and corresponding action will still turn out ok.

Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals

Purpose

Purpose: 1. The object towards which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal. 4. The matter at hand; the point at issue.
The American Heritage College Dictionary; Third Edition

This weekend my wife and I decided to go for a walk but were not sure exactly where to go. We settled on a stroll through the mall, which under most circumstances would have been painful for me, but I'm working on my patience so I agreed. It's amazing what your senses are able to take in when you're not really focused on anything. I'm sure the mall has always been under siege by teenagers with nothing else to do, and I'm sure I was one of them at some point, but wow have times changed. What I observed was eerily similar to a bowling ball slowly making its way down the lane hitting bumper pads along the way to avoid a gutter. Of course the ball eventually finds a pin, just like the kids found a deal, but neither would admit that it certainly helped to be guided along the way. These kids bounced around from store to store with no clear sense of direction or purpose. I decided to look up the word purpose in the dictionary and share two of its meanings with you. Majority of the youth I observed clearly had no goal in mind and definitely did not convey to me that there was any matter at hand worth attending to. Of course I immediately went to my own place of thought and wondered if my professional sphere is any different. I've observed on many occasions my peers in the classroom and in the workplace wandering aimlessly through the halls. Worse yet, I have friends to this day that are wandering aimlessly through life. I wondered if I had become a bumper pad for their journey and protected them from the occasionally painful but sometimes necessary gutter. How had my behavior unintentionally encouraged them to embrace a purposeless life? I guess when I point the finger at myself, I was certainly in no position to be making fun of the kids in the mall. Funny how things aren't so funny when you identify yourself as a source of the problem.

My challenge to you this week is simple. During the work day I would like for you to walk with a purpose. When you get up from your chair after reading this email, declare from that moment on that you will only remove your rear from the seat if you have a specific matter at hand to attend to. Walk tall, shoulders back, mind sharp, and eyes focused. Let the world around you know that aside from lunch or an occasional break, you are on a mission. Let your body language suggest that you are indeed progressing toward a goal and the matter at hand is of importance. Don't participate in aimless wandering or pointless strolls. This week it’s about the physical act of walking. Next week you may want to challenge your mind the same way. Aimless thinking is just as bad, if not worse, than aimless walking. Perhaps our frustration with kids in the mall isn't that they overtake the isles with their aimless strolls, but with the fact that it conflicts with when we take ours.

Alonzo M Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals