The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choicest words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech. ~ Edwin H. Friedman
My apologies for the long quote this week but it was too important to cut out any words. This weekend my family decided to rescue a puppy (Copper) from the Humane Society. The dog was cute and cuddly until we got home and he decided to start marking his territory. Of course as we were telling it to stop, he was running away. For the next six hours, everytime we were showering the dog with love and praise he would run to us and respond with a wagging tail. Whenever he was doing something naughty he would run away. The decibel in our voice had no bearing on his attitude about staining our carpet. At bed time we asked our children to go and get ready for bed. It was an overwhelming moment of clarity for me to see my daughter, son, and puppy, all walking away when they were being asked to do something they simply didn't want to do. Why did it take a cute puppy and crap on my carpet for me to understand the simple lesson that Mr. Friedman shared? When words are pursuing the audience, no matter how eloquent or loud the tone, they will land on deaf ears. Once again, a lesson I've learned the hard way.
My challenge to you this week is to practice the art of communication without overpowering your audience. Create an environment where distractions are minimal and your delivery is calm and clear. Try not to have your words 'chasing' the team but rather greeting them. A simple test on whether or not your words are chasing the audience would be to count the number of times you have to repeat yourself on the same message. I woke up on Sunday morning believing the best communicators were world leaders and inspirational speakers. I went to bed wishing I had met Mr. Friedman and Copper 25 years ago.
Alonzo Kelly
http://alonzoweeklyleadershipthought.blogspot.com
First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do. ~ Epictetus
Since before we were born, our parents had a plan for what they wanted us to be. After a few years of getting to know us and analyzing our behavior, they may have crafted a different plan. I was supposed to be either a crash test dummy or a lawyer. Of course there's no relation between the two but those were my mom's choices. By the time I was 12, I had already had 4 different sets of stitches, two oral surgeries, and 1 broken bone. (That helmet she made me wear around the house made sense after awhile). She figured that I would need to be an attorney in order to defend myself! Now at the ripe of age of 34, I've added 9 reconstructive surgeries, more broken bones, multiple sprains and a bad back to the fold. All of which are the results of my own accidents! Clearly she was on to something. While I sit back and laugh at my experience, there is a seriousness to the words of Epictetus. I am tired of people always telling me what they are going to be but never doing a single thing to get them there. I have friends that tell me they are going to be doctors, lawyers, accountants, and nurses, but won't even bother to take the first step of requesting a college admission application. I have friends that tell me they are going to be better leaders, fathers, mothers, and mentors, but won't do a single thing about addressing an opportunity they have to improve. It is usually the start that stops most people. A lion wakes up one day and says to himself that he is going to be king. He then proceeds to go about his business of trying to make it happen. We have a lot to learn from the lion.
My challenge to you this week is to take a first step towards accomplishing a goal you've set for yourself a long time ago. Perhaps you had a goal to be more organized. This week be non-negotiable on your promise to have one pile of papers on your desk completely addressed and removed. If your goal is to lose weight, take all the candy and junk food in your home and put it in a box. Wrap it with so much duct tape that by the time you get through it, you won't want what's in it anyway. If your goal is to be a better parent, commit to reading one book, EVERYDAY, with your child. Life is what happens while you're busy planning for it. Its time to stop planning and get on with it already!
Alonzo Kelly
http://alonzoweeklyleadershipthought.blogspot.com
Since before we were born, our parents had a plan for what they wanted us to be. After a few years of getting to know us and analyzing our behavior, they may have crafted a different plan. I was supposed to be either a crash test dummy or a lawyer. Of course there's no relation between the two but those were my mom's choices. By the time I was 12, I had already had 4 different sets of stitches, two oral surgeries, and 1 broken bone. (That helmet she made me wear around the house made sense after awhile). She figured that I would need to be an attorney in order to defend myself! Now at the ripe of age of 34, I've added 9 reconstructive surgeries, more broken bones, multiple sprains and a bad back to the fold. All of which are the results of my own accidents! Clearly she was on to something. While I sit back and laugh at my experience, there is a seriousness to the words of Epictetus. I am tired of people always telling me what they are going to be but never doing a single thing to get them there. I have friends that tell me they are going to be doctors, lawyers, accountants, and nurses, but won't even bother to take the first step of requesting a college admission application. I have friends that tell me they are going to be better leaders, fathers, mothers, and mentors, but won't do a single thing about addressing an opportunity they have to improve. It is usually the start that stops most people. A lion wakes up one day and says to himself that he is going to be king. He then proceeds to go about his business of trying to make it happen. We have a lot to learn from the lion.
My challenge to you this week is to take a first step towards accomplishing a goal you've set for yourself a long time ago. Perhaps you had a goal to be more organized. This week be non-negotiable on your promise to have one pile of papers on your desk completely addressed and removed. If your goal is to lose weight, take all the candy and junk food in your home and put it in a box. Wrap it with so much duct tape that by the time you get through it, you won't want what's in it anyway. If your goal is to be a better parent, commit to reading one book, EVERYDAY, with your child. Life is what happens while you're busy planning for it. Its time to stop planning and get on with it already!
Alonzo Kelly
http://alonzoweeklyleadershipthought.blogspot.com
What Will You Change
Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.
~ Robert F. Kennedy
Last Wednesday I tried to buy a copy of every major newspaper to save for future conversations with my children. The significance of this years election will be one to remember. One of the more obvious points of historical significance is the diverse candidate slate we had to choose from. Men, women, young, old, black, white, mixed, divorce, adoption, religion, teen pregnancy, community college, prestige college, no college; this election had it all on one ballot! I firmly believe that every election from now on will either have a diverse candidate on the ticket or will be blindly running a losing race. While taking in the sights and sounds of our country the day after our community had spoken and elected its next President, a sudden dose of reality set in. The pundits on television, the talk show hosts on the radio, even the people in line at the grocery store, were experts on everything that was right and wrong with the outcome of the election. What lessons have we learned from events that rocked the foundation our country in the past? How many of us are now willing to accept that regardless of who won last Tuesday, we are now the next leg in this relay race called life? The election process began with each candidate holding the baton and sprinting as fast as they could, hoping to reach us first. The baton must now be passed on to us. Are we ready to take it from President-elect Obama and hold ourselves accountable for our portion of this race or will we drop the baton and wait for the next one? If we commit to focusing our time, energy, and resources to safely and efficiently handing the baton to the next person in line, our children, then Tuesdays election will indeed be historic. President Kennedy points out that the history of our generation will be written by all of us, not the gifted few.
My challenge to you this week is to have a discussion with someone else about your portion in this relay race of life. What are YOU going to commit to being responsible for to ensure the safe passage of the baton to our children. Since the beginning of time, elected officials have promised to change things so that the future of their children would be protected. One could argue that the baton has been dropped so many times over the past century that our children wouldn't recognize it as a baton at all. But, if each of us commits to being great in our own right, then there is hope that our children will finally receive a baton in tact. An event that makes history doesn't have to make the front page. Paying a bill on time 3 months in a row, doing homework with your children before they watch cartoons, or picking up a piece of fruit rather than a piece of candy can be historic events in their own right and none of which has anything do with who won last weeks election. Let this be the generation known for having the best credit, the smartest children, and the healthiest life style. These are the acts that President Kennedy spoke of then and now I challenge you to follow through.
Alonzo Kelly
The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.
~ Albert Einstein
I've often marveled at wild animal trainers and the courage they display on stage or in the arena. Surrounded by 3000 pounds of raw flesh eating power, trainers and performers display a calmness and cool that I could only imagine. I've seen 10 tigers bow to a 180 pound man in a cage. I've witnessed a bear roll over at the simple wave of a hand by a 140 pound women. On television, we can watch in awe as a man sticks his head in the open jaws of a full grown crocodile. Our rational mind tells us that with training, patience, and perseverance, we can overcome any fear and accomplish anything. Our intuition fails us sometimes as we forget we are talking about WILD ANIMALS! It takes the occasional reminder on the Animal Planet series, When Animals Attack, to keep things in perspective. I suppose Mr. Einstein could have been talking about leadership when he put this quote together. In hindsight, I bet we could all explain a bad decision we've made that was more heavily weighted on our rational mind than our intuition, affectionately referred to as our 'gut feeling'.
My challenge to you this week is to invoke your intuitive mind in a major decision you must make this week. Perhaps this decision will take place in the voting booth or maybe even the doctors office. The dictionary defines 'intuition' as a sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression. The dictionary defines 'rational' as having or exercising the ability to reason (in other words, using logic, analytic thought; intelligence). My rational mind would tell me that it is indeed possible to train a crocodile to allow me to put my head in his mouth without him snapping it off. We have data to prove this is possible and I've even witnessed it. Besides, more people die from being struck by lightening than being eaten by crocodiles. Of course my intuitive mind is the reason I've never done it. While I'm not advocating to reduce the amount of logic and data you use to make decisions, I am supporting Mr. Einstein's recommendation that we stop ignoring our gift of intuition. This gift could prove the difference between success and failure.
Alonzo Kelly
~ Albert Einstein
I've often marveled at wild animal trainers and the courage they display on stage or in the arena. Surrounded by 3000 pounds of raw flesh eating power, trainers and performers display a calmness and cool that I could only imagine. I've seen 10 tigers bow to a 180 pound man in a cage. I've witnessed a bear roll over at the simple wave of a hand by a 140 pound women. On television, we can watch in awe as a man sticks his head in the open jaws of a full grown crocodile. Our rational mind tells us that with training, patience, and perseverance, we can overcome any fear and accomplish anything. Our intuition fails us sometimes as we forget we are talking about WILD ANIMALS! It takes the occasional reminder on the Animal Planet series, When Animals Attack, to keep things in perspective. I suppose Mr. Einstein could have been talking about leadership when he put this quote together. In hindsight, I bet we could all explain a bad decision we've made that was more heavily weighted on our rational mind than our intuition, affectionately referred to as our 'gut feeling'.
My challenge to you this week is to invoke your intuitive mind in a major decision you must make this week. Perhaps this decision will take place in the voting booth or maybe even the doctors office. The dictionary defines 'intuition' as a sense of something not evident or deducible; an impression. The dictionary defines 'rational' as having or exercising the ability to reason (in other words, using logic, analytic thought; intelligence). My rational mind would tell me that it is indeed possible to train a crocodile to allow me to put my head in his mouth without him snapping it off. We have data to prove this is possible and I've even witnessed it. Besides, more people die from being struck by lightening than being eaten by crocodiles. Of course my intuitive mind is the reason I've never done it. While I'm not advocating to reduce the amount of logic and data you use to make decisions, I am supporting Mr. Einstein's recommendation that we stop ignoring our gift of intuition. This gift could prove the difference between success and failure.
Alonzo Kelly
Q: David's father had 3 sons: "Snap, Crackle, and ?"
A: David!
Q: If you were in a race and passed the person in 2nd place, what place would you be in?
A: 2nd Place!
I love those jokes! The main reason I love them is because they point out just how fast our mind works and how silly we look when we ignore the obvious. My wife likes to point out that I am really quick to make assumptions about what she is going to say or what she is thinking. I of course deny that until she actually does tell me what she's thinking. Those conversations usually end up with me saying something like, "Oh, I see, oops, my bad.". The same thing happens when I'm having a serious discussion with my daughter. I'll instantly assume that she knows what I'm talking about because we've had the conversation before. When she explains her behavior, I again end up saying, "Oh, I see, oops, my bad". You would think that enough of these types of conversations have happened to me that they wouldn't occur as frequently as they do. My biggest fear is that something important will happen at work and I will immediately respond with what appears to be the obvious at the time without further exploration or assessment. I'm happy to report this doesn't happen often but its probably because of the fear of getting it wrong and having to stand in front of my team saying, "Oh, I see,…..". You get the point.
My challenge to you this week is to ask one clarifying question of your peers or leader during a discussion. Practice the art of seeking clarity. Your students, classmates, clients, or fellow team members will pick up on your behavior and do the same. The result is a dialogue rich in meaningful discussion and expectations being made clear. We as leaders shouldn't wait for others to take the lead on ensuring we are able to execute on goals which are clearly defined and ready to be achieved.
Q: How many books can you put into an empty back pack?
A: 1; After that the back pack is no longer empty!
Alonzo Kelly
Objects in mirror are closer than they appear. ~ Rear view mirror warning
I bring you this quote from my weekly Weight Watchers class. Yea, I said it, I'm on Weight Watchers. For the record, the thought of a rear view mirror in weight watchers class understandably scared a few. Anyway, I couldn't help but think about what else would be in my rear view mirror if I took a careful look. Past learning experiences, failures, or let downs would be there. But previous family gatherings, uncontrollable laughter episodes, and overwhelming times of joy would also be in sight. What I love about the warning on our car door mirrors is the fact that although objects are reflected from an angle of the past, they are not all that far away. The warning to not assume that you are in the clear or have entirely lost something is a lesson about life. I saw a poster in church this past weekend that said, "If you're not sure where to find God, start at the place you last spoke". Perhaps you can't seem to figure out how to laugh again or simply relax. Maybe you're struggling with a relationship and need to reflect on why you care so deeply about the person in the first place. A quick glance in the rear view mirror will reveal that what you think is in the distant past, isn't really all that far away.
My challenge to you this week is to take a quick glance in the rear view mirror. As a leader, take a peek at some of your past successes and failures and reflect on what you've learned. Make a personal pledge to recapture the lessons from the past that guide your thinking and behavior today. If we are unwilling to reflect on our past experiences, we are destined to make poor decisions based on misguided information and blind assumptions. I don't know about you, but if the driver in front of me on the freeway insists on changing lanes without using his rear view mirrors, I have no choice but to do one of the following; either refuse to follow them and let someone else put their future in his hands, or pass him entirely and keep an eye on him while he's following me. It would be a mistake to think your staff or students aren't doing the same about you!
Alonzo Kelly
I bring you this quote from my weekly Weight Watchers class. Yea, I said it, I'm on Weight Watchers. For the record, the thought of a rear view mirror in weight watchers class understandably scared a few. Anyway, I couldn't help but think about what else would be in my rear view mirror if I took a careful look. Past learning experiences, failures, or let downs would be there. But previous family gatherings, uncontrollable laughter episodes, and overwhelming times of joy would also be in sight. What I love about the warning on our car door mirrors is the fact that although objects are reflected from an angle of the past, they are not all that far away. The warning to not assume that you are in the clear or have entirely lost something is a lesson about life. I saw a poster in church this past weekend that said, "If you're not sure where to find God, start at the place you last spoke". Perhaps you can't seem to figure out how to laugh again or simply relax. Maybe you're struggling with a relationship and need to reflect on why you care so deeply about the person in the first place. A quick glance in the rear view mirror will reveal that what you think is in the distant past, isn't really all that far away.
My challenge to you this week is to take a quick glance in the rear view mirror. As a leader, take a peek at some of your past successes and failures and reflect on what you've learned. Make a personal pledge to recapture the lessons from the past that guide your thinking and behavior today. If we are unwilling to reflect on our past experiences, we are destined to make poor decisions based on misguided information and blind assumptions. I don't know about you, but if the driver in front of me on the freeway insists on changing lanes without using his rear view mirrors, I have no choice but to do one of the following; either refuse to follow them and let someone else put their future in his hands, or pass him entirely and keep an eye on him while he's following me. It would be a mistake to think your staff or students aren't doing the same about you!
Alonzo Kelly
It is said an Eastern monarch once charged his wise men to invent him a sentence to be ever in view, and which should be true and appropriate in all times and situations. They presented him the words: "And this, too, shall pass away." ~ Abraham Lincoln
This past Friday, like many millions of people around the world, I tuned into the first Presidential Debate. They've been debating for over 18 months now but the media said this was the first. I listened very carefully for their plans and strategies to take our country to a better place. I kept a keen eye on body contact, body language, and signs of frustration or angst. I watched the moderator cleverly encouraging them to talk to one another rather than the audience. For 90 minutes I was able to drink from the cup of euphoria and imagine a world with peace and prosperity. I enjoyed hearing both candidates say that our systems are broken and they both had the answers to fix them. For that hour and a half, all was right with the world. Then, like being suddenly awaken from a dream, the debate was over. I was left to fend for myself in the madness of life. I realized that if I don't pay my bills on time, there's nothing either candidate could do to fix the credit crisis. If I don't properly educate myself and my children, there's nothing anyone can do to break the cycle of poverty. It became clear in all of one minute that the feelings I had during the debate shall pass if I don't make myself part of the solution. President Lincoln didn't need wise men to provide the sentence that any of us could have provided. 'This too shall pass' is a phrase that if not used appropriately can enable us to accept our current state of sad affairs. I agree that most difficult times will pass, but they'll be back if we don't demonstrate we've learned something through the experience.
My challenge to you this week is to reflect on a difficult situation that you simply let pass away without addressing it head on. Reflect on how the situation may rear its ugly head again if you continue to ignore it. Leadership requires knowing when to fight and knowing when to walk away. Walking away however is not a solution if the other party doesn't believe you are aware of what's going on. If you appear to be naïve or simply blind to the issue, both the problem and problem source will reintroduce themselves very soon. Teachers shouldn't ignore difficult students, doctors shouldn't ignore difficult patients, and managers shouldn't ignore difficult employees. "And this, too, shall pass" is a great saying when recovering from a difficult situation. Shame on us all if we dismiss the opportunity to learn from it.
Alonzo M Kelly
This past Friday, like many millions of people around the world, I tuned into the first Presidential Debate. They've been debating for over 18 months now but the media said this was the first. I listened very carefully for their plans and strategies to take our country to a better place. I kept a keen eye on body contact, body language, and signs of frustration or angst. I watched the moderator cleverly encouraging them to talk to one another rather than the audience. For 90 minutes I was able to drink from the cup of euphoria and imagine a world with peace and prosperity. I enjoyed hearing both candidates say that our systems are broken and they both had the answers to fix them. For that hour and a half, all was right with the world. Then, like being suddenly awaken from a dream, the debate was over. I was left to fend for myself in the madness of life. I realized that if I don't pay my bills on time, there's nothing either candidate could do to fix the credit crisis. If I don't properly educate myself and my children, there's nothing anyone can do to break the cycle of poverty. It became clear in all of one minute that the feelings I had during the debate shall pass if I don't make myself part of the solution. President Lincoln didn't need wise men to provide the sentence that any of us could have provided. 'This too shall pass' is a phrase that if not used appropriately can enable us to accept our current state of sad affairs. I agree that most difficult times will pass, but they'll be back if we don't demonstrate we've learned something through the experience.
My challenge to you this week is to reflect on a difficult situation that you simply let pass away without addressing it head on. Reflect on how the situation may rear its ugly head again if you continue to ignore it. Leadership requires knowing when to fight and knowing when to walk away. Walking away however is not a solution if the other party doesn't believe you are aware of what's going on. If you appear to be naïve or simply blind to the issue, both the problem and problem source will reintroduce themselves very soon. Teachers shouldn't ignore difficult students, doctors shouldn't ignore difficult patients, and managers shouldn't ignore difficult employees. "And this, too, shall pass" is a great saying when recovering from a difficult situation. Shame on us all if we dismiss the opportunity to learn from it.
Alonzo M Kelly
There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it. ~ Denis Diderot
I am a member of many organizations that are committed to community service and leadership. We stand side by side and proclaim to reject all that is wrong in our community and be models for all that is right. We profess to reject violence, discrimination, every 'ism' you can name, and infractions against humanity. In other words, we reject what my daughter describes as 'mean people' and the mean things they do. Why is it then that more often than not, it gets harder to hear this unified voice of peace and unity? I suspect that for every person who is truly trying to do the right thing, they are trumped by the scores of people who simply don't have time to join them. I'm careful not to say they don't care because I believe most people do. As this weeks quote highlights however, doing the right thing absolutely involves some element of doing the convenient thing. I've often wondered how leaders are able to use the word 'fantastic' to describe their mood EVERY DAY! After the fifth day I walk away wondering what they've avoided addressing in order to keep their harmony. While I shouldn't assume that they've avoided anything, it is something that gives me pause considering the plethora of issues we need to address in our places of business and community.
My challenge to you this week is to do one thing for someone that you know needs to be done but is inconvenient for you personally. You may choose to help an elderly person register to vote, take your neighbor grocery shopping, or give someone feedback that they absolutely need to hear. For all the things that make our leaders great, both past and present, it is their ability to do what is too inconvenient for the rest of us that stands out most. I dare say that everyone reading this email is great. What we must do this week is practice the skill of embracing inconvenience to be ready for anything that comes our way. It’s the inconvenient times, not the smooth times, that our leadership is needed most.
Alonzo Kelly
I am a member of many organizations that are committed to community service and leadership. We stand side by side and proclaim to reject all that is wrong in our community and be models for all that is right. We profess to reject violence, discrimination, every 'ism' you can name, and infractions against humanity. In other words, we reject what my daughter describes as 'mean people' and the mean things they do. Why is it then that more often than not, it gets harder to hear this unified voice of peace and unity? I suspect that for every person who is truly trying to do the right thing, they are trumped by the scores of people who simply don't have time to join them. I'm careful not to say they don't care because I believe most people do. As this weeks quote highlights however, doing the right thing absolutely involves some element of doing the convenient thing. I've often wondered how leaders are able to use the word 'fantastic' to describe their mood EVERY DAY! After the fifth day I walk away wondering what they've avoided addressing in order to keep their harmony. While I shouldn't assume that they've avoided anything, it is something that gives me pause considering the plethora of issues we need to address in our places of business and community.
My challenge to you this week is to do one thing for someone that you know needs to be done but is inconvenient for you personally. You may choose to help an elderly person register to vote, take your neighbor grocery shopping, or give someone feedback that they absolutely need to hear. For all the things that make our leaders great, both past and present, it is their ability to do what is too inconvenient for the rest of us that stands out most. I dare say that everyone reading this email is great. What we must do this week is practice the skill of embracing inconvenience to be ready for anything that comes our way. It’s the inconvenient times, not the smooth times, that our leadership is needed most.
Alonzo Kelly
"Every memorable act in the history of the world is a triumph of enthusiasm. Nothing great was ever achieved without it because it gives any challenge or any occupation, no matter how frightening or difficult, a new meaning. Without enthusiasm you are doomed to a life of mediocrity but with it you can accomplish miracles."~Og Mandino
It is often hard to face life with an enthusiastic spirit; however, it is extremely important to remember that the outcome of any situation is directly impacted by both your enthusiasm and effort which has a direct correlation with your desired results. We have all heard the saying, “You can do anything you put your mind to”. What this is truly saying is we control our destiny, our life, and our future. You can not be a victim if you refuse to be victimized and no one has to be a product of a negative environment or lower socioeconomic conditions if they choose not to be. Life is about choice and whether we choose to live with a poor attitude and little motivation or high enthusiasm and great determination is up to us.
My challenge to you this week is to live with purpose and enthusiasm and no matter how many times you stumble and fall in life always continue to get up, stand up, and be accountable for the way your life turned out. Continue to accomplish miracles in your own life as well as the lives of others who look up to you and no challenge will ever be unassailable.
It is often hard to face life with an enthusiastic spirit; however, it is extremely important to remember that the outcome of any situation is directly impacted by both your enthusiasm and effort which has a direct correlation with your desired results. We have all heard the saying, “You can do anything you put your mind to”. What this is truly saying is we control our destiny, our life, and our future. You can not be a victim if you refuse to be victimized and no one has to be a product of a negative environment or lower socioeconomic conditions if they choose not to be. Life is about choice and whether we choose to live with a poor attitude and little motivation or high enthusiasm and great determination is up to us.
My challenge to you this week is to live with purpose and enthusiasm and no matter how many times you stumble and fall in life always continue to get up, stand up, and be accountable for the way your life turned out. Continue to accomplish miracles in your own life as well as the lives of others who look up to you and no challenge will ever be unassailable.
Nkozi knight
Moral Standing
There is no moral precept that does not have something inconvenient about it. ~ Denis Diderot
I am a member of many organizations that are committed to community service and leadership. We stand side by side and proclaim to reject all that is wrong in our community and be models for all that is right. We profess to reject violence, discrimination, every 'ism' you can name, and infractions against humanity. In other words, we reject what my daughter describes as 'mean people' and the mean things they do. Why is it then that more often than not, it gets harder to hear this unified voice of peace and unity? I suspect that for every person who is truly trying to do the right thing, they are trumped by the scores of people who simply don't have time to join them. I'm careful not to say they don't care because I believe most people do. As this weeks quote highlights however, doing the right thing absolutely involves some element of doing the convenient thing. I've often wondered how leaders are able to use the word 'fantastic' to describe their mood EVERY DAY! After the fifth day I walk away wondering what they've avoided addressing in order to keep their harmony. While I shouldn't assume that they've avoided anything, it is something that gives me pause considering the plethora of issues we need to address in our places of business and community.
My challenge to you this week is to do one thing for someone that you know needs to be done but is inconvenient for you personally. You may choose to help an elderly person register to vote, take your neighbor grocery shopping, or give someone feedback that they absolutely need to hear. For all the things that make our leaders great, both past and present, it is their ability to do what is too inconvenient for the rest of us that stands out most. I dare say that everyone reading this email is great. What we must do this week is practice the skill of embracing inconvenience to be ready for anything that comes our way. It’s the inconvenient times, not the smooth times, that our leadership is needed most.
Alonzo Kelly
President Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
Change does not necessarily assure progress, but progress implacably requires change. Education is essential to change, for education creates both new wants and the ability to satisfy them. ~ Henry Steele Commager
I'm not sure about you but I've been pounded over the head with the word 'change' so much that I'm afraid to even use it in a sentence. Our elected officials promise to bring change to our government. Our corporations will change the way they do business. Technology will change the way we view the environment. My daughter vows to change her attitude. It goes on and on. This past week I received feedback on my midyear review that almost made me change the way I go about my job. The feedback was very clear, very direct, and certainly created a renewed sense of urgency. What my boss was looking for is exactly what Mr. Commager identified as the source of change. Progress is what my boss was after. Progress is also what our government, corporations, environment, and yes our parents are ultimately hoping to achieve. In order to progress at anything we must first educate ourselves on what we want the end result to be and then be daring and bold enough to act on this new information. Change for sake of change is a complete waste of time and resources. Progress for sake of progress on the other hand implies a step in the right direction and an increased capacity for learning.
My challenge to you this week is to not get caught up in the rhetoric of change. Examine a particular project or process that you a currently involved with and renew your focus on the end result. Whether you are gearing up for students to return to the classroom, or contemplating making an adjustment to your personal circle of influence, keep your eye on where you want to ultimately end up. Try not to get lost in the act of doing things differently for risk of losing sight of why you are recommending something different in the first place. Few leaders survive very long if they are known for 'shaking things up' without a clear vision and explanation to the reason behind it.
Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
www.tmulyp.org
I'm not sure about you but I've been pounded over the head with the word 'change' so much that I'm afraid to even use it in a sentence. Our elected officials promise to bring change to our government. Our corporations will change the way they do business. Technology will change the way we view the environment. My daughter vows to change her attitude. It goes on and on. This past week I received feedback on my midyear review that almost made me change the way I go about my job. The feedback was very clear, very direct, and certainly created a renewed sense of urgency. What my boss was looking for is exactly what Mr. Commager identified as the source of change. Progress is what my boss was after. Progress is also what our government, corporations, environment, and yes our parents are ultimately hoping to achieve. In order to progress at anything we must first educate ourselves on what we want the end result to be and then be daring and bold enough to act on this new information. Change for sake of change is a complete waste of time and resources. Progress for sake of progress on the other hand implies a step in the right direction and an increased capacity for learning.
My challenge to you this week is to not get caught up in the rhetoric of change. Examine a particular project or process that you a currently involved with and renew your focus on the end result. Whether you are gearing up for students to return to the classroom, or contemplating making an adjustment to your personal circle of influence, keep your eye on where you want to ultimately end up. Try not to get lost in the act of doing things differently for risk of losing sight of why you are recommending something different in the first place. Few leaders survive very long if they are known for 'shaking things up' without a clear vision and explanation to the reason behind it.
Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
www.tmulyp.org
"When I was tired, I slept; When I was hungry, I ate; and when I had to go, well, ya know, I went". ~ Forest Gump "So you just ran?" ~ Lady at the bus stop "Well, Yea!" ~ Forest Gump
The movie Forest Gump has some of the best lines ever written in a movie. While everyone remembers his box of chocolate references, one of his best lines was part of a dialogue he had with a lady on a bench while waiting for the bus. It’s a simple instruction on achieving incredible results through disciplined focus. I suppose our Olympic athletes also provide this same lesson by being the best in their country at a specific event. Rather than trying to be decent at all things, they choose to be excellent at a few. I wonder what I could accomplish if I chose to focus on changing one part of our community at a time rather than all of it at once? If on Mondays I feed the homeless and Tuesdays teach children to read, could I actually end homelessness by teaching kids to read on Mondays and Tuesdays? I'm not sure of the ultimate result but I do realize that I'm cheating both groups if I'm not completely focused on either. If it were my career we were talking about, I would have to ask what I think I could accomplish with my team if we focused on being excellent at a few things rather than decent at a bunch of stuff. These are tough questions but necessary to address in order to take my personal and professional development to the next level. Forest Gump slept when he was tired, ate when he was hungry, and went to the bathroom when he had to. But at the end of the day there was never any doubt what his energy was focused on; he was running. Nothing else. And that's why he was able to run from coast to coast.
My challenge to you this week is to commit to completing one task this week with an excellent result. Don't turn in a good report, turn in a GREAT report. Don't complete a task on time, complete the task BEFORE its due. Don't just play catch with your children or pets for sake of spending time, play with them so much that they can't take it anymore! If we can commit to focusing on one task and completing it without distraction, we will begin to realize what we are truly capable of. When you're tired, rest, and when you're hungry, eat. But after each of those necessary breaks, resume your focus on excellence. If we can do that, our combined excellent efforts will produce extraordinary results!
Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
How Do You Manage Your Time
There is nothing so useless as doing efficiently that which should not be done at all. ~ Peter F. Drucker
My boss has us doing an exercise that involves an inventory and assessment of how we spend our time. The entire exercise causes me to examine my priorities and personal level of accountability (which I'm sure was her intention in the first place!). One of my biggest take away from the exercise is that I've somehow managed to convince myself that it is indeed possible to be everywhere and actively participate at all times. The scary part is that I've also managed to convince others around me that they can do the same. It’s the few smart ones in my circle of influence that have held tightly to the fact that leadership without focus isn't leadership at all. I quickly discovered that there exists a great opportunity to improve on my ability to model behavior as it relates to time management. Mr. Drucker politely calls to task those of us that have meetings on our calendars 30 minutes longer than they need to be, engagements after work that do nothing for our health or work/life balance, and make excuses for why we won't attempt to offer bold changes on our team which we believe will improve results. My apology goes out to the countless mentors out there that have been telling me this for years. I get it now.
My challenge to you this week is to conduct an audit of how you spend your time and reprioritize. At the most basic level, take a look at your calendars over the next few weeks and rate the meetings you have on a scale of 1 - 10 with 10 being 'ADDS SIGNIFICANT VALUE TOWARDS THE ACHIEVEMENT OF OUR GOALS'. Anything that you rate a 5 or below should not be given the same amount of time as something you rate a 9 or 10. At a more strategic level, take a look at how you spend your overall time and examine whether or not it helps achieve your goals personally or professionally. I give Midwest Airlines credit for the bold announcement that they would stop offering some non-direct flights or eliminate leisure destinations from their menu. While there will be some initial challenge with whatever changes you decide to make, you will be stronger in the long run and be better positioned to deliver high quality service to your customers, clients, students, family, and yourself.
Alonzo Kelly
President-Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
When Communicating with Others
Don't be bashful when communicating guidelines. If you are bashful about guidelines they morph into guidance. They are two very different things!
~ Andrew Owen, Executive Vice President, Head of Invest Products and Operations,
Wells Fargo Funds Management Group
This past weekend my daughter and I had plenty of opportunity to discuss and reinforce the rules of the house. One such rule involves a tree. There is a tree on our neighbors lawn that has the same effect on kids as candy in the candy store. It stares at them with its tempting branches and beautiful leaves. Its just low enough that kids can reach out and grab its limbs without giving a single thought about asking permission first. Its also just high enough for a kid to break every bone in their body with one miscalculated step. My wife and I originally told our daughter that we didn't think it was a good idea for her to climb the tree. Then we moved toward saying it would not make us happy if she climbed the tree. Finally, SHE IS NOT TO CLIMB THE TREE! PERIOD! Every time we found our daughter in the tree she said she knew we didn't like her in there but couldn't come up with a reason why she did it anyway. I suspect that had I listened to Mr. Owens words regarding guidance and guidelines, the tree issue would have been settled a long time ago. Of course, this same lesson applies to our own lives both personally and professionally as well. While my boss doesn't seem to struggle with the difference between guidance and guidelines, I admit that there's opportunity for my own improvement in this area when it comes to communicating with my team (and children).
My challenge for you this week is to commit to making it clear when you communicating guidelines and/or simply offering guidance. There is probably no greater disappointment than when a team doesn't achieve a goal and the reason it wasn't accomplished was because of the leaders poor communication. On a personal level, I suppose this is what happens every January 1st when we are making our New Year's resolutions. On a professional level, I would suspect this is also what happens when a team misses deadlines. As Mr. Owen correctly points out, there is a distinct difference between the two. Leaders take the time to make sure they understand them both and accept the consequences when you are not clear on either.
Alonzo Kelly
President Milwaukee
Urban League Young Professionals
~ Andrew Owen, Executive Vice President, Head of Invest Products and Operations,
Wells Fargo Funds Management Group
This past weekend my daughter and I had plenty of opportunity to discuss and reinforce the rules of the house. One such rule involves a tree. There is a tree on our neighbors lawn that has the same effect on kids as candy in the candy store. It stares at them with its tempting branches and beautiful leaves. Its just low enough that kids can reach out and grab its limbs without giving a single thought about asking permission first. Its also just high enough for a kid to break every bone in their body with one miscalculated step. My wife and I originally told our daughter that we didn't think it was a good idea for her to climb the tree. Then we moved toward saying it would not make us happy if she climbed the tree. Finally, SHE IS NOT TO CLIMB THE TREE! PERIOD! Every time we found our daughter in the tree she said she knew we didn't like her in there but couldn't come up with a reason why she did it anyway. I suspect that had I listened to Mr. Owens words regarding guidance and guidelines, the tree issue would have been settled a long time ago. Of course, this same lesson applies to our own lives both personally and professionally as well. While my boss doesn't seem to struggle with the difference between guidance and guidelines, I admit that there's opportunity for my own improvement in this area when it comes to communicating with my team (and children).
My challenge for you this week is to commit to making it clear when you communicating guidelines and/or simply offering guidance. There is probably no greater disappointment than when a team doesn't achieve a goal and the reason it wasn't accomplished was because of the leaders poor communication. On a personal level, I suppose this is what happens every January 1st when we are making our New Year's resolutions. On a professional level, I would suspect this is also what happens when a team misses deadlines. As Mr. Owen correctly points out, there is a distinct difference between the two. Leaders take the time to make sure they understand them both and accept the consequences when you are not clear on either.
Alonzo Kelly
President Milwaukee
Urban League Young Professionals
Celebrate Your Life
In three words I can sum up everything I've learned about life: it goes on. ~ Robert Frost
This past week had to have been one of the toughest of my short 34 years of life. I buried a friend. After coming to grips with the realities of life and death, I was comforted by family, friends, and peers. The words that were shared with me I shall not be able to repeat word for word but their rooted message will live with me forever. Losing someone you love is not easy, I am not 'fine', and I will never get over it. But I also heard them say, as Mr. Frost points out, life goes on, it has to. It has been a long time since the lessons regarding choice have been so clear. I choose to remember my friend for being one of the first to teach me to stand up for myself. I choose to remember him laughing not crying. I choose the lesson of love and happiness versus sadness and sorrow. A former boss used to tell his employees that he has never had a bad day at work in his life. He would always say that if he didn't like his job he would simply leave it. I admit that until last week, I still rolled my eyes at the thought. Then it struck me that he too was talking about choice. As leaders, what we do, how we do it, and whom we do it with matters. We continue to write the story for our life which will inevitably be the most beautiful story about us ever written and told.
My challenge to you this week is to celebrate your story as written thus far. Don't wait for us to do it for you. The story of my friend Mark points out that we seldom get a choice in how the story ends. If that is indeed the case, then every page and every chapter should make for a beautiful ending. Take a friend out for ice cream this week and simply say its because you've earned it. Take your kids to the park by surprise and explain to them that you are celebrating the accomplishments of their mom and/or dad. You are beautiful and some of the best stories ever told are by the people who lived through them. The best leadership books on my shelf at home are written and told by the people whom the book is about. While recounts, reflections, and memoirs are nice books to have, there is no one who can tell a more beautiful story about you than YOU!
Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
This past week had to have been one of the toughest of my short 34 years of life. I buried a friend. After coming to grips with the realities of life and death, I was comforted by family, friends, and peers. The words that were shared with me I shall not be able to repeat word for word but their rooted message will live with me forever. Losing someone you love is not easy, I am not 'fine', and I will never get over it. But I also heard them say, as Mr. Frost points out, life goes on, it has to. It has been a long time since the lessons regarding choice have been so clear. I choose to remember my friend for being one of the first to teach me to stand up for myself. I choose to remember him laughing not crying. I choose the lesson of love and happiness versus sadness and sorrow. A former boss used to tell his employees that he has never had a bad day at work in his life. He would always say that if he didn't like his job he would simply leave it. I admit that until last week, I still rolled my eyes at the thought. Then it struck me that he too was talking about choice. As leaders, what we do, how we do it, and whom we do it with matters. We continue to write the story for our life which will inevitably be the most beautiful story about us ever written and told.
My challenge to you this week is to celebrate your story as written thus far. Don't wait for us to do it for you. The story of my friend Mark points out that we seldom get a choice in how the story ends. If that is indeed the case, then every page and every chapter should make for a beautiful ending. Take a friend out for ice cream this week and simply say its because you've earned it. Take your kids to the park by surprise and explain to them that you are celebrating the accomplishments of their mom and/or dad. You are beautiful and some of the best stories ever told are by the people who lived through them. The best leadership books on my shelf at home are written and told by the people whom the book is about. While recounts, reflections, and memoirs are nice books to have, there is no one who can tell a more beautiful story about you than YOU!
Alonzo Kelly
President
Milwaukee Urban League Young Professionals
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